How to be a better Listener

[Red Phoenix]

This is really important

many of us dont generally do well in listening tests

we lose focus, we forget, we doze off, we mix things up, we get sleepy, we get bored, we interrupt and what is said to us gets lost

being a good listner is a good trait, so is learning when to shut up

so, any tips on how to become better listeners and tune our focus to what is being said ?

[Faithful]

Originally Posted by Red Phoenix

This is really important

many of us dont generally do well in listening tests

we lose focus, we forget, we doze off, we mix things up, we get sleepy, we get bored, we interrupt and what is said to us gets lost

being a good listner is a good trait, so is learning when to shut up

so, any tips on how to become better listeners and tune our focus to what is being said ?

I may not be a good listener too but i always try to be one.

What did u mean by listening ??? ...listen to a simple conversation or a talking about the daily life and problems ??? .. or did you mean listening to someone who has a serious problem and he/she wants you to help him/her ???

In both cases, first of all you have to care about the person/subject before being able to listen to him/it.......When you really care you avoid losing focus, forgetting, mixing things up, getting sleepy, bored..... You will give him/itr all your attention and all your support and you will be curious to know more about him/it ... in fact you will start asking him or about it a lot of questions too

Now if you should be a listener to someone with a serious big problem .. that's a another long story

[Shah Massoud]

Originally Posted by Red Phoenix

This is really important

many of us dont generally do well in listening tests

we lose focus, we forget, we doze off, we mix things up, we get sleepy, we get bored, we interrupt and what is said to us gets lost

being a good listner is a good trait, so is learning when to shut up

so, any tips on how to become better listeners and tune our focus to what is being said ?

Well i have a tip that works well in a conference but is a double egde knife:

to focus more on listening : close ur eyes.... you would loose all senses of distraction and would be focussing only on what you are hearing......

inconvenient: if the conference is soo boring....this will make u sleep faster...

[Red Phoenix]

Originally Posted by Faithful

I may not be a good listener too but i always try to be one.

What did u mean by listening ??? ...listen to a simple conversation or a talking about the daily life and problems ??? .. or did you mean listening to someone who has a serious problem and he/she wants you to help him/her ???

In both cases, first of all you have to care about the person/subject before being able to listen to him/it.......When you really care you avoid losing focus, forgetting, mixing things up, getting sleepy, bored..... You will give him/itr all your attention and all your support and you will be curious to know more about him/it ... in fact you will start asking him or about it a lot of questions too

Now if you should be a listener to someone with a serious big problem .. that's a another long story

i mean just listening in general for anyone speaking

but judging from u u are a worse listener than i am

u 'have to care' about the person to listen to him/her ? hehe

[Orange angel]

Well i think this is innate, a good listener is born one... no1 can force him/herself to listen in daily life while they do not want to or cannot concentrate, the maximum you can do if you're really bored or tired is to look like your listening... don't stop staring at the person and nodding lol your thoughts can be a gazillion miles away, they'll never notice...

Cheers

[Faithful]

Originally Posted by Red Phoenix

i mean just listening in general for anyone speaking

but judging from u u are a worse listener than i am

u 'have to care' about the person to listen to him/her ? hehe

When i said you have to care about the person i meant the case when u have to listen to a friend's problems not to a general speaking as u mentioned ... in that case yes you definitely have to care about the person to be able to listen to him and surely u should care about the subject to avoid being bored and getting sleepy ....If you are interested in someone or something you will never get bored and lose focus.

So no i am not a worse listener than you

[shadow1]

Originally Posted by Red Phoenix

so, any tips on how to become better listeners and tune our focus to what is being said ?

You make sure you are always talking to sexy pople or rich ones. Paying attention comes out naturally. Other than that, I say why bother.

I also have to disagree with what Faithful said regarding listening to friends problems. Now once you open this avenue, there is no telling where it might end especially if you have a set of friends like mine, eccentric, dull and horribly repetitious. They come to me occasionally with some problems and I make sure I yawn excessively to deter them from indulging in such practice. I am not Dear Abbey for Goodness sake. They cant cope with life, big deal, they can always commit suicide.
Marital problems: Divorce or a mistress
Children problems: give'm up for adoption or disown them.
Health problems: I aint no doctor
Mental problems: I aint no shrink
Money problems: I aint a bank
Existential problems: Go to the holy land or get yourself a handy guardian angel
Love problems: grow up
loneliness problems: Get a useful addiction to something
Political problems; Yawn Yawn
Criminal problems: go to jail

I find academic people the hardest ones to listen to. They crowd my head with figures and distateful logic. they are too self-righteous to be of any use. Their minds are often too cluttered with useless knowledge.

We all have our little problems after all.

[shadow1]

Originally Posted by Orange angel

Well i think this is innate, a good listener is born one... no1 can force him/herself to listen in daily life while they do not want to or cannot concentrate, the maximum you can do if you're really bored or tired is to look like your listening... don't stop staring at the person and nodding lol your thoughts can be a gazillion miles away, they'll never notice...

Cheers

That is a bit deceitful isn't it? Especially coming from a alleged angel. Shou tarakti la demons.
" What a web we weave when we first practise to deceive."

[Orange angel]

Originally Posted by shadow1

That is a bit deceitful isn't it? Especially coming from a alleged angel. Shou tarakti la demons.
" What a web we weave when we first practise to deceive."

hahaha no this is not deceitful, it happens spontaneously. Sometimes i try to listen to some1 talking and my mind starts wandering around on its own, not on purpose... so i make sure to look concentrated so as not to disrespect the speaker or to make him/her feel that i don't give a **** about his speech (which wouldn't be true btw) and ESPECIALLY if it's my boss ...