Divorce-causes and concequences,how to stop it?

[lebanon4ever]

The title i simple:Divorce,what do u think cause the divorce,what are its concequences and how should we try to stop it?

[lady_forever]

i think divorce comes first due to lack of conversing at home dealing with problems wisely so at times things bothers one of the parents but he or she doesnt discuss about it properly so they become serious ones and in addition moms at times give most of their times unintentionally to look after their babies here the husband feels neglected or his wife not giving him most of her attention as she used to before. in addition their might be adultery which out rage one partner and might not be able to forgive ..whats the solution to stop a divorce first they should sit and discuss what bothers them second if they cant solve it they should go to a counsilor to seek help..for the sake of their kids and marriage ...well thats my opinion as a married woman ..life is never always honey sometimes we have our ups and downs but should be wise enough to solve the problems we face in life without putting the blame on one another but work as two to solve the problem..regards

[fadylteifsgf]

its what u might call......unstopable

[lady_forever]

i forgot to add the consequences will influence badly on their kids so they should really think twice and try to solve the problem before they take divorce step as i dont believe its right that the kids pay in the end we can see in seperated families or divorced sometimes troubled kids and when they grow up they might go to drugs and bad things...

[lebanon4ever]

the only way for me to avoid the divorce,is that the couple must know each other a lot,at least two or three years,before getting married.

[Fragrance of Roses]

Interesting subject...
I like Lady-Forever's take on the subject. It is accurate.
I'll be keeping an eye on this thread :) (maybe I can learn a thing or two for the second round--if it ever happens)

[coralie]

Originally Posted by lebanon4ever

the only way for me to avoid the divorce,is that the couple must know each other a lot,at least two or three years,before getting married.

some ppl know eachother more , much more then 3 years before getting married , yet after few years of marriage they simply grow apart ! in the begining we know who we married but as time pass we start wondering with who are we living .
daily problems, responsabilities , financial problems , ............
lack of understanding , lack of comunication , couples let go and never try to listen to eachother , when we dont listen when we dont talk, (and i say talk not shout or fight) one or both parts of this mariage start feeling like strangers . our daily problems make us blind we simply dont even try to see the changes in our partner , cause we all change with time , our aspirations change , our needs change , our dreams change ,.... but we are so pressured by lots of things that we dont pay attention to those changes and we take eachothers for granted . imagine a couple living under the same roof like gosts not talking or fighting all the time !! its terrible .....
cheating nowadays is frequent . some ppl can go on and forgive but most of ppl cant deal with that and this leads of course to an unbalanced relation again cause we are unable to sit and talk honestly and calmly .
how can we avoid divorce ??? when we are open to dialogue, a honest dialogue and can figure out our real problems and try hard to find a radical solution , some couples realy try or at least one of them try but dont succeed in my opinion a final sepration > divorce is a must when things become intolerable for both its better to separate and spare both parties as well as the kids the bad influence of daily fights and shouting in some cases violence ! its not healthy for any one to be unhappy cause its a bad influence on the kids in the first place and on the couple . unfortunatly we dont have good marital conceling and couples most of the time are not able to find solutions by themselves , or simply are not trying enough cause they dont care enough .
the reasons for divorce are many but the effect is most of the time the same : for some its difficult , painfull, sad ,...... a big relief , a big youpiiiii for others .

[mount_amel]

*The invasion of the low western values have raised the number of divorces in our country and made it the major and the number one among causes.
Immorality have made our society and especially men to feel insecure about thier relationships even if it is at its high peak of intiamcy.

*Adultery: It define itself.

*Spousal Indignities

Other problems might be minor but gotta mention it :

1-Age : Getting married at early age will surely lead to divorce (60%) {Age: 16,17,18} because they lack experience (in life mish yalleh belkon mino)

2-Couple has conflicting personal beliefs

3-Couple’s marital satisfaction decreases

4-Desertion

5-Cruel treatment

6-Bigamy

7-Imprisonment

8-Institutionalization

9-Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind

Stable and satisfying marriages contribute to men's and women's improved physical and psychological health and longevity.
Divorce complications might reflect badly on the person himself , family and community.

Agian , we need education to stop divorce.
In the mean time nothing can stop a couple from divorce.

Salam

[Carlutchi]

Originally Posted by coralie

divorce is a must when things become intolerable .

I agree with you Coralie.

Divorce is not always bad.
On the contrary, divorce is merciful for all when there are constant bitter fights between parents and children are exposed to violence and abuse.

Originally Posted by coralie

its better to separate and spare both parties as well as the kids the bad influence of daily fights and shouting in some cases violence ! its not healthy for any one to be unhappy cause its a bad influence on the kids in the first place and on the couple .

It is not the divorce thats hurts the kids but the hostile relationship between the parents that really harms the children.
The wish to take revenge and "get even" creates a never ending cycle of tension, and the already traumatized children are caught in the middle.

Originally Posted by coralie

unfortunatly we dont have good marital conceling and couples most of the time are not able to find solutions by themselves , or simply are not trying enough cause they dont care enough .

This is the real problem !!!

Originally Posted by coralie

the reasons for divorce are many but the effect is most of the time the same : for some its difficult , painfull, sad ,...... a big relief , a big youpiiiii for others .

TRUE !

[mephisto794]

Originally Posted by lebanon4ever

the only way for me to avoid the divorce,is that the couple must know each other a lot,at least two or three years,before getting married.

I can't agree better :
The engagement period is a pre-requisite for a successfull marriage! a kind of probation period...

During this period, the engaged couple should simulate the real life they will have as spouses, not consacrate it only for the wedding ceremony preparations!