Old and New Jokes!!!

[Kakou]

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but
discovered that she was out of credit; she instructed her son to
use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.
After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that
it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried
reaching dad on the mobile. (Women!!) She waited impatiently for
her husband to return from site, immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap, while the man was trying to ask why? She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.
The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called, junior said "the number u are Trying To call Is
not Reachable At The Moment. Pls Try Again Later".

[Faithful]

I didn't read ur reply, just hope this one is new:

A Kid asks:" Daddy? How did I come into this world?*

The Daddy Answered:" Well, my child, some day I'll have to tell you any way,

" The Kid asked again: "So why not today?" The Dad Respond: "Please, listen carefully:

Mom and Dad met each other in a cyber café. In the restrooms of that cyber café, dad connected to mom.

Mom at that time made some downloads from dad's memory stick When dad finished uploading we discovered we used no firewall.

Since it was too late to cancel or delete, nine months later we ended up with a virus."

[Faithful]

La maîtresse d'école demande à ses élèves de nommer un animal utile à l'homme et ce qu'il donne.

Julien lève la main, "Oui mon petit Julien, quel animal as-tu trouvé?" "Le mouton"
"Très bien et que nous donne le mouton?" "De la laine"

"Excellent, y a- t-il un autre petit ami qui pourrait nous trouver un autre animal?"

Pauline lève la main, "Oui ma belle Pauline !" "La poule".
"Bravo, et que nous donne la poule?" "Des oeufs!" "Excellent, toujours aussi brillante notre ;petite Pauline.

Ya-t-il quelqu'un d'autres qui a une réponse?

Jean-Jacques lève la main .La maîtresse est très surprise car le petit Jean-Jacques est un élève un peu dissipé et il n'a pas l'habitude de participer à ce genre d'exercice, mais elle est toute heureuse car elle a réussi à capter son attention.

"Oui Jean-Jacques quel animal as-tu trouvé?" "Une vache"
Bravo! Jean-Jacques (Mon Dieu il a vraiment fait du progrès, se dit la maîtresse) et que donne la vache ?
"Des devoirs" !

[Faithful]

This is a True story

A guy working in a "hotel" answered the phone ringing in the kitchen, so he heard :

"tou ti tou roum tou" so he replied directly "ta ta tara ta" and hung down the phone.

after a while he was fired by the manager for doing such a thing , cos the man who called the room service was asking him on the phone to send " 2 tea to room 2 "

[Kakou]

An english language teacher asked her students to give a sentence with COLOURS. One of her studets (from many countries) was Sri-Lankian!! She raised her finger immediately. Surprised by her fast reply, the teacher told her to talk. The student said:
Green, Green! - Yellow!!- Mrs Brown isn't here! Pink!

[none]

a student camed to his teatcher during the brake and said : if i give u 50 000 will u let me kiss u ?
teatcher : oh ur a bad boy but do u really have 50 000 ?
boy: yes i do
T: Ok then u can kiss me ....
mwahhh and he gaved her the 50 000

then he said if i gaved u 100 000 will u let me see some of you ?
T: oh ur now a real bad boy but do u have 100 000 ?
B: YEA i do
T: ok then look (and she showed him and took the 100 000)

then the boy said : I Still have 300 000 i ll give them for you if u let me do ehem with u...
T: OHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh ur a devil now but do u have 300 000 ?
B: yea i do
T: ok then (and she let him do ehem with her)

later that day the teatcher met the director and he asked her :
DID U GET UR SALARY ? i havE SENT IT WITH Georges .....
hehehehhehehehehehhe

[Faithful]

See what happens wa2ta btel3ab l kahraba?

[di]

Originally Posted by faithful

See what happens wa2ta btel3ab l kahraba?

hahahahahahahaha hilarious !!!!

[none]

cows organise a strike in the streets agains us!!!

[Miss Orange]

Originally Posted by none

a student camed to his teatcher during the brake and said : if i give u 50 000 will u let me kiss u ?
teatcher : oh ur a bad boy but do u really have 50 000 ?
boy: yes i do
T: Ok then u can kiss me ....
mwahhh and he gaved her the 50 000

then he said if i gaved u 100 000 will u let me see some of you ?
T: oh ur now a real bad boy but do u have 100 000 ?
B: YEA i do
T: ok then look (and she showed him and took the 100 000)

then the boy said : I Still have 300 000 i ll give them for you if u let me do ehem with u...
T: OHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh ur a devil now but do u have 300 000 ?
B: yea i do
T: ok then (and she let him do ehem with her)

later that day the teatcher met the director and he asked her :
DID U GET UR SALARY ? i havE SENT IT WITH Georges .....
hehehehhehehehehehhe

hahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahah i couldnt stop laughing.....