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  (#41 (permalink)) Old
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Default Re: New jokes - 31st March 2005

واحد سوري ضايع بالصحراء بسوريا، مرقت طيارة بالجو، بيحرق تيابو، وسيارتو حتى حدا يشوفو لكن مرقت الطيارة بلا ما تنقظو. بيقول يلعن هالبلاد… بيطبو عليه المخابرات.

ظابط سوري بدو يدخّن سيكارة قبل ما ينام، بيقول للجندي طلاع عَ الحادجِز وجبلي قداحة:
بيطلع الجندي عَ الحادجِز وبيسأل السيارات: معك قداحة؟: لأ معي كبريتي، معك قداحة؟: لأ معي كبريتي، معك قداحة؟: لأ معي كبريتي…
بينزل عَ الخيمة وبيقول للظابط: سيدنا كلن معن كبآريت ما حد معو قداحة، جِبلك كبريتة؟؛ ايه روح وعدجِل. معك كبريتة؟ لأ معي قداحة، معك كبريتة؟ لأ معي قداحة، معك كبريتة؟ لأ معي قداحة… بيرجع على الخيمة وبقول للظابط: سيدنا كلن معن قداحات شو بعمل؟؟!!
ما تعمل شي طفي هالشمعة ونآم.


كيف لقطو مخابرات سوري بتل ابيب؟ حاطط صورة باراك وولادو على السيارة.

حمصي فات على مرتو شافها عم بتخونو، قام دارها حمصيّة.

كم نكتة ألّف اللبنآنيين عن الحمامصا؟ 3 فقط، البقية أخبار حقيقية

واحد بيقول لصديقو: بدي خبرك اجدد نكتة عن الحماصني، بيقلو هيداك ولوّ يا زلمي انا من حمص، قلو معليه بعدلك ياها.

تاكسي سوري رايح من بيروت لطرابلس طيلع معو بنت حلوة، وبالغلط لمسها هو وعم بيغيّر فيتيس، بتقلو البنت فيك تكمّل، بيقلا لوين على حمص؟؟؟


حمصية أجهضت، مش أكيدة انو الولد منها.
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Default Re: New jokes - 3rd April 2005

guys all the joks are so cute ...
kamlo bi haydeh l hemmeh
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Default Re: New jokes - 3rd April 2005

I love this thread
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Default Re: New jokes - 3rd April 2005

Wa7ad homseh said to his mom: mama ni7na ktir azkiya bi homes smalla (w da2 3al khachab).
The mom replied: eh ba3ref ya ibneh bass oum fta7 el beb.
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Default Re: New jokes - 3rd April 2005

i have couple of nice jokes..
1st, kal fi wahad homsi 3atiou 3ilka...........hileh ma ynam illa ma ykhalissa.



2, they had a competition between the inteligence in the world. ever coutry sent their moukhabarat. to find out who is the most intelligente, they will hide a rabbit and whoever finds it first will win. 1rst goes the americans 5 - 10 mins, they came back with the rabbit.
2nd goes the russian 2-3 hours, they came back with the rabbit, 3rd goes the syrian, 1-2-3 days and they never came back. on the 4rth day they see the moubarat lakteen 7mar w3am yidirbou w3am bikouloulou. 3tirif inak arnab wlllaaa.
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Default Re: New jokes - 4th April 2005

how do you know that a Homsi is in a classroom?
He erases his notes everytime the teacher erases the blackboard.
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Default Re: New jokes - 6th April 2005

Homsi calling his friend who is far away:
He puts a pair of binoculars (nadour) on his mouth and says: "Hassoun saaame3ni??"
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Default Re: New jokes - 6th April 2005

A homsi officer arrives with a soldier in front of the elevator:
Officer: call the asanser wlaaaaaaaaa
Soldier (took the talkie walkie and calls): "asanser / asanser; asanser / asanser .... baddel"
Officer: Wla 7maar... tlob el-asanser bi-esbaak... Y3ademni yaak ilahi!!
Soldier (Holds his finger in-front of his mouth and calls): "asanser / asanser; asanser / asanser .... baddel"

7allel wa-naqesh!
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Default Re: New jokes - 6th April 2005

A homsé captain was teaching the soldiers on a new machine gun that shoots for over 100 meters.
So a smart homsé soldier asked the captain: "sir if he was 50 meters away from me, how would i shoot him??" The captain replied: "u go back 50 meters to make the distance 100 meters and then u shoot him."
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Default Re: New jokes - 7th April 2005

llooooooolllllll
great guys!! really great!
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