Old and New Jokes!!! - Page 46 - The Orange Room

lenloun

The story begins:
George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really Intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea.

"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer intelligence riddle.
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send the Prime Minister in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty..."
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have! a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister.
Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"
"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick Cheney.
"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child.
It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none
can give him an answer.
Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin
Powell's shoes in the next stall.

Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to! The Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Colin Powell." Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

xcoder

hehehe nice joke lenloun :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

teb see this :P

<img src = "http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/6175/pic14dg.jpg">
<img src = "http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/2558/pic24bk.jpg">
<img src = "http://img289.imageshack.us/img289/8088/pic31rl.jpg">

Rabih_dib

>A Lebanese, a Syrian, and a black man are in a hospital.
>All of their wives are about to deliver.
>
>They are nervous and anxious and talking to each other to calm down.
>After a while the doctor walks in and announces that all of their
>wives gave birth to healthy baby boys all within minutes of each
>other.
>The men start celebrating and congratulating each other, but then
>the doctor says, "But I have a bit of bad news", the men fall
>silent. He continues, "The nurse got confused and we don't know
>which boy belongs to whom".
>At that the Lebanese man runs into the maternity ward and grabs the
>black baby screaming, "This one is mine!"
>The doctor runs after him and says, "But sir, both you and your wife
>are white."
>The Lebanese man looks at him and replies, "Listen, one of the other
>two is Syrian, I am NOT taking any chances!"
*

xcoder

Superman

Osama and Taliban one liners
Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: How is Osama Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both look out their window and see Rubble.

Q: What is the national bird of Afghanistan?
A: Duck!!

Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.

Q: What does Osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
A: Because the camels can't handle it.

Q: What's the five-day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days.

Q. Why are there no TV's in Afghanistan?
A. Because of the Telly ban.

Q. Why does Osama Bin Laden have a beard?
A. He wants to look like his mother.

Q. What do you call a Taliban who owns six goats?
A. A pimp.

A fitting punishment for Osama Bin Laden:
Capture him and give him a sex change operation, then return him to Afghanistan to live under Taliban rule.

Q. Why does Osama Bin Laden carry a piece of **** in his pocket?
A. Photo I.D.

xcoder

coralie

A woman suspected her husband was seeing another woman, so she hired a famous Chinese Detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while she was gone. A few days later, she received his report:

To MOST HONORABLE MADAM:

YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.

SHE COMES TO HOUSE. I WATCH.

HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.

HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE.

I LOOK IN WINDOW.

HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.

HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.

HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.

I PLAY WITH ME. I FALL OFF TREE.

I DID NOT SEE.

NO FEE?

CHEN LEE