Old and New Jokes!!!

[El-Meghwar]

ley hayfa bet7ebb anno ton2ote3 el kahraba?
ta te23od 3al cham3a.

[El-Meghwar]

kif betmeress hayfa el se7er?
bte23od 3al 3amoud byekhtefe.

[mount_amel]

Originally Posted by el-meghwar

kif betmeress hayfa el se7er?
bte23od 3al 3amoud byekhtefe.

[Comrade Bassam]

So is this a nice level of jokes to keep posted on the forum ?

A respectful joke can still make us laugh! Thanks.


LONG LIVE FREE LEBANON
COMRADE BASSAM

[Tanya]

Comrade Bassam...Tanya aims to please, I think this is ok:

A dinner conversation that went wrong....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "****"

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusted.

[Outlife]

A man is caught in traffic when suddenly someone taps on the window. He lowers the window and asks what he wanted.
The man says, " President Emile Lahhoud was kidnapped and the ransom is $5 Million dollars, and that if the ransom is not paid, the kidnappers have threatened to douse him with gasoline and set him on fire! We are doing a collection, do you wish to participate?"
The man asks : "on the average what are people giving?"
The other replies: "5 to 10 liters!"

[Tanios]

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
Woman yells out window "PIG".
Man yells out window "BITCH".
Man rounds next curve----crashes into huge pig.


Thought for the day.
If only men would listen.

[Outlife]

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asks the
students, one by one -
"Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young
lady, How would you tell her that
you have to go to the bathroom?" she asked.

"Just a minute, I have to go ****."
The teacher replied, "That would be rude and impolite!"

"What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right
back."
The teacher responded, "That's better, but it's still not very nice
to say the word bathroom at the
table."

"And you Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and
show us your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have
to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll
get to meet after supper."

The teacher fainted!!!

[Superman]

looooooooooooool outlife.

This "johny" is one smart guy :DDDD

[Outlife]

One a Teacher ask the students " what's the diff between the ordinary donkey and the special donkey"
so the first student said :" the special has a big ears "
the teachers answer " no , co the elephant has a big ears too"
the second student said:" it's a way of transportation "
the teacher said " no i the care it's a transportation too"

and they still giving wrong answer till one stident said : the special donkey is the person who beleive WALID JUMBLATT


from Basmet watan in Safra Festival