Deux Belges regardent le catalogue de la Redoute et voient les mannequins.
L'un dit à l'autre :
- As-tu vu les belles filles qu'il y a dans le catalogue ?
- Oui, putain qu'elles sont belles !
- As-tu vu le prix ?
- En effet, elles sont vraiment pas chères. À ce prix, moi je m'en achète une.
- Bonne idée, commande-la et si elle est aussi belle que dans le catalogue, moi aussi je m'en achète une.
Trois semaines plus tard, le Belge demande à son ami:
- Au fait, la fille que tu as commandé dans le catalogue La Redoute, est-elle arrivée ?
- Non ! Mais ça devrait pas tarder car j'ai reçu ses vêtements hier.
A young girl is taking a bath, when she suddenly realizes she's
growing pubic hairs.
She runs to her mom and says. "Mama I have hair growing on my
cookie!!!
Her mother tells her not to call it like that, but to call it a
monkey.
Later that day the young girl goes up to her bigger sister and
tells
her that she's growing hair on her monkey.
The bigger sister replied, "That's nothing, my monkey is already
eating bananas"...
A man said to his wife, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
The Following User Says Thank You to lionness For This Useful Post:
The man dictionary
"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES." Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU." Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
7th July 2009
