Old and New Jokes!!!

[Frisbeetarian]

The story begins:
George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really Intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea.

"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer intelligence riddle.
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send the Prime Minister in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty..."
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have! a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister.
Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"
"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick Cheney.
"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child.
It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none
can give him an answer.
Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin
Powell's shoes in the next stall.

Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to! The Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Colin Powell." Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

OMG! LMAFO!!!

[shevchenco]

Bill Gates decides to organize an enormous session of recruitment for a new chairman for Microsoft Europe. The 5000 candidates are all assembled in a large room. One of the candidates is Fadi Khoury, a Lebanese guy

Bill Gates thanks all the candidates for coming and asks that all those who do not know JAVA program language rise and leave.
2000 people rise and leave the room. Fadi Khoury says to himself - "Ido not know this language but what have I got to lose if I stay?
I'll give it a try".

Bill Gates asks all the candidates that those who have never had
experience of team management of more than 100 people rise and leave.2000 people rise and leave the room. Fadi Khoury says to himself - "I have never managed anybody but myself but what have I got to lose if I stay?
What can happen to me"? So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asks all the candidates who do not have excellent
management diplomas to rise and leave. 500 people rise and leave the room.
Fadi Khoury says to himself - "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose if I stay? So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asks all of the candidates who do not speak the
Serbo-Croat language to rise and leave. 498 people rise and leave the room.

Fadi Khoury says himself - "I do not speak Serbo-Croat but what the"Hell! - Have I got anything to lose?" So he stays in the room. He finds himself alone with one other candidate - everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joins them and says: "Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serbo-Croatian, so I'd now like to hear you both have a little conversation in that language!

Calmly Fadi turns to the other candidate and says to him: "Keifak ya K***a"...

The other candidate answers: "Kol K***a ya 3ar***……"




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There was a German, an Italian and a Homsi on death row.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

To be shot
To be hung
To be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

The German said, 'Shoot me right in the head.' (Boom, he was dead
instantly.)

Then the Italian said, 'Just hang me.' (Snap, he was dead.)
Then the Homsi said, 'Give me some of that AIDS stuff.'

They gave him the shot, and the Homsi fell down laughing. The guards
looked
at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy. Then the Homsi
said, 'Give me another one of those shots,' so the guards did. Now he was
laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally the warden said, 'What is wrong with you?'

The Homsi replied, 'You guys are so stupid ..... I'm wearing a condom!'

[Venom]

You know what' the name of the Lebanese Ambassador in Canada?

P.S. he is Orthodox

[shevchenco]

Massoud MAALOUF, what's wrong with that?

[LebanonUSA]

Originally Posted by Venom

You know what' the name of the Lebanese Ambassador in Canada?

P.S. he is Orthodox

Massoud Maalouf... I don't get it... D'uhh

[Venom]

Guys...be creative a bit

[FBM]

mish ma3 louf ma3 sabouneh

BTW what did the other guy reply to fadi khoury? the word with ***.. what is it?

[mount_amel]

المدير والسكرتيرة

مدير الشركه قال للسكرتيره عندنا انا و انتي رحلة عمل اسبوع رتبي امورك

السكرتيره اتصلت على زوجها قالتله: عندي رحلة مع مديري اسبوع انت دبر امورك

الزوج اتصل على عشيقته قال لها : زوجتي بتسافر اسبوع خلينا الاسبوع مع بعض

العشيقه تعمل مربية لـ ولد صغير اتصلت قالت له : انا عندي شغل اسبوع كامل مابقدر اجيك
الولد الصغيراتصل بجده قاله : جدو المربيه عندها شغل اسبوع كامل مش هتيجي خلينا كل يوم نروح مكان و نغير جو

الجد- طلع نفسه هو مدير الشركه - اتصل على السكرتيره قالها: الغى الاجتماع لاني مشغول مع حفيدي

السكرتيره اتصلت على زوجها قالت له : انلغت الرحلة و راجعه للبيت

الزوج اتصل على عشيقته قال لها: زوجتي مش هتسافر مقدرش اشوفك

العشيقه اتصلت على الولد الصغير قالت له : لا خلاص مافي عندي شغل وراح اجيك

الولد اتصل على جده قال له : لا جدو ....المربيه جاية خد راحتك

الجد رجع اتصل على سكرتيرته قالها حضرى نفسك لازم نسافر للاجتماع !!!!!!
عن جد محشش اللي كتبها

[lady_forever]

صعيدي سافر على امريكا واشتغل سواق تاكسي ...

مرة كان مقرب من احد البارات فركبت معاه وحدة عارية ..!!

قالت له: ودينى روكفلر بلازا من فضلك

ساق الصعيدي التاكسي...

ظل طوال الوقت ينظــــــر اليها في المرآة... !!!

فسألته: اكسكيوز مي.. شكلي عجبتك ...... او هذه المرة الاولى التي تطلع بها معك امرأة عارية !؟

قال: لا ده ولا ده.. بس قاعد افكر، حضرتك حطلعي الفلوس منين..!؟ :

[coralie]

Falling Georgie - The Falling George Bush Screensaver

yalla be creative use your mouse to make him do nice roulibouli ana dawakhto LOL...