advanced search
Contact Us tayyar.org
 
The Orange Room - forum.tayyar.org
 



Notices
The Lounge For all the topics that do not fit in the other sections

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1011 (permalink)) Old
Orange Room Supporter
 
Maggie's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,387
Thanks: 129
Thanked 166 Times in 103 Posts
Last Online: 3 Days Ago
Join Date: Mon Dec 2004
View Maggie's Photo Album
Default 9th June 2008

اثنين حماصنة ماشيين في حمص والدنيا كابسة مطر مر واحد بسيارته طرطشهم

فقال الأول للثاني شوف هالحيوان لو نحنا في الشام كان صاحب السيارة وقف و أخدنا عندو عالبيت

و شلحنا أواعينا و غدانا و نحنا رايحين أعطانا ألفين ليرة رد الثاني قاله: عن جد عم تحكي ؟ ليش صارت معك؟

رد الاول: لأ يا حمار صارت مع أختي
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  (#1012 (permalink)) Old
Registered Member
 
Kakou's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 3,690
Thanks: 191
Thanked 329 Times in 227 Posts
Last Online: 3 Weeks Ago
Join Date: Fri Sep 2006
View Kakou's Photo Album
Default 12th June 2008

This is not really a joke, but it's nice...

Lebanese Mothers

Lebanese Mother: 'Hello?'

Daughter: 'Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?'

Lebanese Mother: 'You're going out?'

Daughter: 'Yes.'

Lebanese Mother: 'With whom?'

Daughter: 'With a friend.'

Lebanese Mother: 'I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.'

Daughter: 'MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!'

Lebanese Mother: 'You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.'

Daughter: 'MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?'

Lebanese Mother: 'I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.'

Daughter: 'There are lots of things that you did and I don't.'

Lebanese Mother: 'What are you hinting at?'

Daughter: 'Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight..'

Lebanese Mother: 'You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?'

Daughter: 'MA its My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!'

Lebanese Mother: 'So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?'

Daughter: 'MOM, He's not a loser.'

Lebanese Mother: 'A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.'

Daughter: 'MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?'

Lebanese Mother: 'Poor children with such a mother.'

Daughter: 'Such a what?'

Lebanese Mother: 'With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.'

Daughter: 'ENOUGH MA!!!'

Lebanese Mother: 'Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!'

Daughter: 'Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?'

Lebanese Mother: 'Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately.

Daughter: 'Goodbye, mother.'

Lebanese Mother: 'Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? '

Daughter: 'I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!'

Lebanese Mother: 'If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Kakou For This Useful Post:
hoda25 (4th August 2008)
  (#1013 (permalink)) Old
Registered Member
 
Zouxi's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 6,113
Thanks: 389
Thanked 430 Times in 291 Posts
Last Online: 7 Hours Ago
Join Date: Fri Oct 2006
View Zouxi's Photo Album
Default 14th June 2008

One day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?” So God agreed.

On the next day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”

The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?” And God agreed.

On the next day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?” And God agreed again.

Then on the next day, God created man and said, “Eat, sleep, play and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”

But man said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?” “Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you. Go live.
Reply With Quote
  (#1014 (permalink)) Old
Community Team Leader
 
Layyouss's Avatar
 
Online
Posts: 1,130
Thanks: 378
Thanked 519 Times in 282 Posts
Last Online: 32 Minutes Ago
Join Date: Sun Nov 2004
View Layyouss's Photo Album
Default 17th June 2008

Two Italian men get on a bus. They sit down and engage in animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
'Emma comes First.. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses; They come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta Time.'

The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex-obsessed pig,' she retorted indignantly.'In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.'

'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a Justa tellin my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi .'
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Layyouss For This Useful Post:
dataccess (17th June 2008)
  (#1015 (permalink)) Old
Registered Member
 
Kakou's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 3,690
Thanks: 191
Thanked 329 Times in 227 Posts
Last Online: 3 Weeks Ago
Join Date: Fri Sep 2006
View Kakou's Photo Album
Default 18th June 2008

Sorry LFers...

واحد انحشر في زحمة المرور فلقى واحد بيخبطّله على شباك السيارة
فتح الشباك و سأله: شو بدك؟
قال له: سمير جعجع خطفوه و الفدية 5 مليون دولار و لو الفدية مااندفعت .. الخاطفين هددوا يدلقوا عليه بنزين و يشعلوا فيه..ونحنا بنجمع تبرعات .. تحب تشارك؟
الرجل سأل: و قديش تقريبا عم تتبرع الناس؟
الرجل الثاني : من 5 الى 10 لتر بنزين


Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Kakou For This Useful Post:
twaynz (19th June 2008)
  (#1016 (permalink)) Old
Registered Member
 
Kakou's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 3,690
Thanks: 191
Thanked 329 Times in 227 Posts
Last Online: 3 Weeks Ago
Join Date: Fri Sep 2006
View Kakou's Photo Album
Default 18th June 2008

A Lebanese gentleman living in Dubai parked his brand-new BMW in front of his
office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on
the driver's side.

The Lebanese immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed the police, and within
minutes a policeman pulled up.

Before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the Lebanese started
screaming hysterically as some of his office colleagues reached the scene too.
His BMW, which he had just picked up the day ! before, was now completely ruined
and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the Lebanese finally wound down from his ranting and raving, The
policeman shook his head in disgust and disbelief... 'I can't believe how
materialistic you Lebanese are,' he said. 'You are so focused on your
possessions that you don't notice anything else.

'How can you say such a thing?' asked the Lebanese.

The policeman replied, 'Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the
elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.
'Oh My God!' screamed the Lebanese. 'Where's my Rolex?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Kakou For This Useful Post:
hoda25 (4th August 2008)
  (#1017 (permalink)) Old
Registered Member
 
dataccess's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 64
Thanks: 25
Thanked 16 Times in 12 Posts
Last Online: 3rd August 2009
Join Date: Tue Oct 2006
View dataccess's Photo Album
Default 19th June 2008

دجاجة تحممت بهد اند شولدرز فباضت بيضه من غير قشره

في واحد غبي عرف أن الشيطان شاطر راح يدرس معه

متسابق غبي بمسابقة المليون، اتصل بصديق وقال له: الو معنا 30 ثانية، رأيك احذف اجابتين او استعين بالجمهور

غبي قال لصديقه: اذا عرفت شوفي بالكيس بعطيك منه سمكة. قال له صديقه: بحر

حشاش يسأل: اليوم السبت ولا الأحد؟ قالوا له: الإثنين. قال: ماشاء الله كلهم مجتمعين؟

جحش سأل أمه: امتا بدي اتجوز؟ قالتله: لما بتكبر وتصير حمار مثل أبوك

غبي قال: كويس أنه امريكا اتهمت طالبان ومااتهمت المدرسه كلها

وحده تسأل عن ابنها الضائع قالو لها : اذا ابن حلال بيرجع قالت ولـــي راح الولد

غبي معه قنبله يدويه قالوا له: راح تنفجر قال: معي وحده ثانيه

مـره قـزم عـطـس ... خـبـط راسـه فـي الارض

أستاذ كيمياء رزق بولد .... فسماه سامي أكسيد الكربون

واحـد احـول حـس بالـبـرد وهـو نـايـم ... قـام وغـطـى اخـوه
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to dataccess For This Useful Post:
Aroma (19th June 2008)
  (#1018 (permalink)) Old
Registered Member
 
Kakou's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 3,690
Thanks: 191
Thanked 329 Times in 227 Posts
Last Online: 3 Weeks Ago
Join Date: Fri Sep 2006
View Kakou's Photo Album
Default 19th June 2008

I don't know if it was posted before, but it could be a reminder!!



Comment un homme choisit-il sa femme??

Un homme avait 3 copines mais il ne savait laquelle marier.



Alors il s'est résolu à faire un test, pour voir laquelle était plus apte

à être sa femme.


Il a retiré 15 mille euros de sa banque, donné 5 mille à chacune et a dit:



- Dépensez comme vous voulez.




La 1ère a été au shopping, acheté des habits, bijoux, est allé chez le

coiffeur,institut de beauté etc.



De retour vers l'homme elle dit:


- J'ai dépensé tout ton argent pour être plus belle pour toi, pour te

plaire:Tout ça parce que je t'aime.



La 2ème a été au même shopping, a acheté des habits pour elle, 1

lecteur CD, 1 télé écran plat, 2 paires de tennis.Cannes de golf et

films pornos. De retour vers l'homme elle dit:



- J'ai dépensé tout ton argent pour te rendre heureux, te plaire.

Tout ça parce que je t'aime.




La 3ème a pris l'argent, a investi dans la bourse. En trois jours a

doublé son investissement, a rendu les 5 mil Euros à l'homme et dit:



- J'ai investi ton argent et j'ai gagné le mien.Maintenant je peux

faire ce que je veux avec mon argent. Tout ça parce que je t'aime.




Alors l'homme réfléchit,






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...





réfléchit...






réfléchit... (les hommes, réfléchissent beaucoup...)






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...





réfléchit...






réfléchit...(les hommes réfléchissent vraiment beaucoup...)






réfléchit...







réfléchit...






réfléchit...





réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...







réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...






réfléchit...





réfléchit...




Et il se maria avec celle qui avait les plus gros seins et les plus jolies fesses.


Oui (parce qu'un homme réfléchit beaucoup... mais après il fait

toujours la même bêtise!)


Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kakou For This Useful Post:
hoda25 (4th August 2008), Layyouss (19th June 2008)
  (#1019 (permalink)) Old
Registered Member
 
dataccess's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 64
Thanks: 25
Thanked 16 Times in 12 Posts
Last Online: 3rd August 2009
Join Date: Tue Oct 2006
View dataccess's Photo Album
Default 19th June 2008

ماهو الفرق بين الزوجة و السكرتيرة ؟
الزوجة مهمة صعبة والسكرتيرة مهمة جداً

مرة أخرى ما هو الفرق بين الزوجة
والسكرتيرة ؟الجواب : 40 كيلو

مرة ثالثة ما هو الفرق بين الزوجة والسكرتيرة
؟السكرتيرة لا تتدخل في شؤون المنزل الزوجة تتدخل في شؤون المكتب

السكرتيرة تكون بكامل أناقتها بمجرد أن تدخل المكتب
الزوجة تكون بكامل أناقتها أيضاً, ولكن بمجرد أن تخرج من المنزل

السكرتيرة تنفذ الأوامرالزوجة تعطي الأوامر

السكرتيرة مشروع حب قادم نظام (بحلم بيك .. أنا بحلم بيك)
الزوجة مشروع حب قديم نظام ( لسه فاكر)

السكرتيرة تبحث لك عن أعذار حتى و إن كنت مشكوكا فيكً
الزوجة أي عذر تقدمه مشكوك فيه

السكرتيرة تفسر الشك لصالح المتهم الزوجة تفسر الشك ضد المتهم

السكرتيرة لا تدخل المكتب إلا وتجدها أمامك الزوجة لا تخرج من البيت إلا وتجدها وراءك

السكرتيرة مثل بضاعة في الفاترينة الزوجة مثل بضاعة في المخزن

مرة أخيرة ما هو الفرق بين الزوجة والسكرتيرة؟
الجواب : السكرتيرة تشعر المدير بأنه سي السيد
والزوجة تشعره بأنه سيد قشطـه
Reply With Quote
  (#1020 (permalink)) Old
Orange Room Supporter
 
TonyFPM's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 4,917
Thanks: 225
Thanked 288 Times in 160 Posts
Last Online: 3 Weeks Ago
Join Date: Thu May 2004
View TonyFPM's Photo Album
Default 20th June 2008

Most of the men have three girls in their lives:
1- Their daughter, and they call her baby doll
2- Their mistress, and they call her barby doll
3- Their wife, and they call her ..... PANADOL
Reply With Quote
Reply

  The Orange Room - forum.tayyar.org FPM Community Forums The Lounge

Tags
cow, economy, woman


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 2 (1 members and 1 guests)
Mr Watani
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Forum Jump

Forums Directory