Is marriage necessary

[coralie]

Originally Posted by lady_forever

I agree with you Coralie marriage sometimes kill love and one will take the other for granted ..but unfortunately we dont live in Europe we live in Lebanon so our kids wont be legal in our country no church no one will admit that soooo...the question what to do???

the world is evolving . laws are not here stable and unchangeable they can change and give to the ppl the opportunity to choose how to live together , marriage should not be an obligation as it is now specialy for the rights of the kids . before a child born outside the conventional "paper" of mariage was called ******* even on his identity card as well as a divorce woman "moutalaka" this is unfaire and shamefull . now those names are banned the laws changed.... so ????? the rest can change as well !
marriage in it self does nt bring respect , confort or stability it does to some extend ifboth are happilly living together in "harmony" but in most cases , it is a formality thats all . the basic thing in all this is the true relation betwen 2 persons !

[GMA forever]

Originally Posted by faithful

mmmmmmmmmm

A successful Marriage depends on two things: finding the right person and being the right person.

Sorry faithful, I am surely on Coralie's side. The problem is that "the right person" at 25 for example, will no longer be the right person at 35 or 40. People change, couples change.

[Faithful]

Originally Posted by GMA forever

Sorry faithful, I am surely on Coralie's side. The problem is that "the right person" at 25 for example, will no longer be the right person at 35 or 40. People change, couples change.

So why u do blame marriage????

Based on what u said, lovers changed , so if u were married or not, these changes will happen. Why do u beleive that marriage killed love between 2 people???

Ba3den when 2 people are in love they will accept each other changes,
mich 3am nichtiri 2amiss , iza battalit 3ala zaw2ak bitghayira

w ba3dden maybe these changes are for your good.

And why u do accept GMA forever and not the person u love forever, chou GMA does not change??????

Changing is part of our life. Without changing life is boring. We must learn how to deal with.

[Maggie]

there is a big different between love and marriage, it's not necessary thet the one you love you can continue your life with, sometimes you love someone and you love him so much but you can not live with him, so marriage is a very important step need a good study and a nice choice based on mental and not you heart, coz sometimes you love the wrong person coz when you are in love you can not see the truth about the second person.

[Coldplayer]

True, marriage may reduce love, but it is a very secure way for them to stay together.
Through marriage people can show commitment to stay.

No marriage = No order

[Maggie]

Originally Posted by Coldplayer

True, marriage may reduce love, but it is a very secure way for them to stay together.
Through marriage people can show commitment to stay.

No marriage = No order

come onnnnnnnnnnn
it's not about orders , there is no order in marriage it's all about how you treat your partner, if you are a man it's how you look to your wife as a slave or as a partner in you life and a women, and if my husband (for me) asked me to do something i don't consider it as an order coz he is out all te day working me and him and our home so we are equal here

[Mey]

Originally Posted by Lebanese dream

Personnally, I assume living with my man all my life without marriage! I can live in instability! I will be the only one to pay the consequences if he changes his path one day!

Why would you be the one who pays the consequences ? Man and woman are equal and in society they are too, this idea of you paying the consequence is somewhat attached to the inequality between man and woman in our society, in what way you will pay the consequences ? There are laws that govern marriages and I do not see how you will pay the consequences.

As for the will, you can write your will anytime, so its not a problem.

Originally Posted by GMA forever

I think marriage is a failed institution. I know it might be a shock for many here, but I believe marriage kills love between 2 people.

If I could get a cent for everytime I hear this coming from someone :).

I totally understand where you are coming from GMA forever, however allow me to tell you that we cannot blame marriage, its about those who marry prematurely, or marry the wrong person.

When you drown in the sea, it means you cannot swim, the sea has no fault there. The same goes for marriage, to get married, you have to be sure about the partner, is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with ? Love is definitly not enough there, there are so many things that need to be considered, is this one your soul mate ?

Many get married for the wrong reasons and put the blame on marriage, however I believe it is them who made a certain mistake. They find out that they are not compatible after some years, to me they should have found out before, and that is why I believe those couples married prematurely.

I agree with Coralie about the papers, thats not what the commitment is about. And that is why I do not believe marriage is a necessity by itself, however I think of marriage as the step that would show my ultimate commitment to my soul mate, so basically in the end, it is there to crown our love relationship, but first there must be a love relationship, and I am not talking only about the goosebumps you get, love is much more than that so we go back to the case of marrying for the wrong reasons, marriage has to come after complete thorough study.

And I agree on what faithful said wholeheartedly !

[MeG]

couki, GMAforever , ladyforever , I smell the bad experience you went thru men hon la china :P

But you have been talking about marriage as if its only a civil or religion paper, as if its not a spiritual commitment and never about principles and two's willingness of living an endless life together...

the reasons of seperation in marriage, does exist in concubine too, so do not take the bad experiment you went thru for granted ... maybe, you have never asked yourself if you were the problem, or even you were a reason of increasing the problem or maybe you were not doing enough to save that experiment...maybe you did not sacrifice to protect a family...and etc.You must be one of those reasons, since the reasons are several and the death is ONE.
I Know, where our egoes lead us...

back to the original question of the thread, the marriage is a necessity whenever two mature people agree on living under the same roof an equal life in everything...whenever they agree to make from their lives a real equal partnership, based on honesty, endless communication, loyality one to another, self-satisfaction, moral satisfaction. if love ever disappeared they can carry on normally with their responsibilities if they maintained on the respect among them .
the marriage experience depends on both partners' will to continue.
every single problem can be removed and solved ONCE the two sincere will meet in a minute...

Life continuity always relied on marriage and the family's contribution in a society, so how it cannot be a necessity ?!!

[lebanon4ever]

As a bachelor,the way i look to marriage is the way i see my family ,especially my dad and mom.
When i return each day at night,sit with the family,enjoy the talks,or when i take lunch with them during the week end,i feel like a good percentage of my stress has gone.
In this way i see marriage.
I know,i have heard many persons wishin that they were not married,but after returnin at home exhausted and seein the wife,kids ,family surrounded him,the pain's effect decrease.
But marriage instead is a big responsability,the two persons must know that they must commit with my soul mate till the end.No more datings ,no more hangin out with friends till 3h00 am each day.
Instead,u have kids to take care off,and a family to raise.
Members will tell me,look at the west,they have concubinage and bla bla bla...
Instead,i tell that ,these rules have created some problems.
Why do u think the number of homosexuals increased.???
In fact,when a child is risen without the presence of his dad,he will be affected by his mother and he wont have any person who shows him real manhood (in case he is a boy).Than it is so normal if he turns into a gay later...
If a girl is risen without her dad,she will fall in love with elder persons and will have too much problems because she will need some care that no one can give to her unless he was her dad.
Same apply for a boy who lives away from his mom.Or for a girl who lives with here dad...
So basically,a family is a major thing in life.But u will have to chose,and make the good choice even if u have to wait long time....

[Mitzidupree]

Wise never marry. And when they marry they become otherwise.

For me, its useless to get married while you can live a relaxing composed life, with nothing/no one to worry about/for. Live your life the way you want, with no arguments. Just a peace of mind. That's the way i see it from my perspective. Now when i raise this subject, i get answers like "Who will take care of you when you are old and etc"...Well first, let me get old and then we'll see, once you set the plans for your life i think everything may work smoothly (Stop, i am not narrow minded), now life is a mysterious thing i know, but its great to take the risk. Although, while getting married, its way too much dangerous, because then, surely you won't become old, you'll die young Especially with someone who'll kill you from shopping. Another point is that i am not with "cimmitment" I can't imagine myself "committed" to anyone. I'd rather choose cohabitant (which also am not into it) than being commited...And yeah, i did not comment about love, i just don't... ( Can't tell you that part)...

By the way, am i on the right track of the original topic?