i did love

[Observer]

Originally Posted by taifoon

Wallah ya observer elna'l sharaf to see you around here discussing loungy matters ..

Hala estez taifoon. lool. It is that I was browsing the forum and this specific thread caught my attention.

Originally Posted by taifoon

Following your conclusion, the meaning of life becomes a straightforward line: Combining the universal strife for mental and biological hapiness and satisfaction with the mission to leave a trace. And if so, would it be judged as a good or bad deed, against ones self or mama nature, to have celibate people copulating to the left and right, with the consequence of having new people with ones genes popping up everywhere? I am sure at least Diversity wouldn't object

No Mr taifoon. You did not follow my conclusion to the point because I did not show the context within which my conclusion is valid. This context is religious and I did not want to go there. This is all ....

[Observer]

Originally Posted by JulesK

Hehehe
And somehow you failed to point those 2 facts out from the start?

hahahaha. Yes Julesk. I know that these two points are very much in the core of the whole story but I did fail to mention both. loooool. You caught me here but I guess I was so involved in narrating things that I missed to mention these two points.

[Observer]

Originally Posted by taifoon

Well, maybe you just need to show more of your red fingernails and styled hairdo instead of that ready to chop with axe you seem often to hold over our poor forum necks, Mr Dalzi

Ah stop rubbing it in. lool. It was a mistake of my part. Then on a second thought yes maybe she does have to show her red painted fingernails (and toenails too, why not? a lot of foot fetishists are lurking around on this forum as I recently found out lool). Sometimes we are not used to strong political arguments from ladies as Dalzi is doing around here and we think it is a man behind the nick.

[doc]

Originally Posted by Observer

hahahaha. Yes Julesk. I know that these two points are very much in the core of the whole story but I did fail to mention both. loooool. You caught me here but I guess I was so involved in narrating things that I missed to mention these two points.

Sorry Observer, i was very touched by your story and felt sorry for both of you, regadless the cause you drifted apart, but when i knew you were married now ,the only person i felt sorry for is your wife...

I wouldn't like to be married with someone who is still in love with another women. I think it's unfair, and even more hurting than being apart for the one you love....The one by the way who didn't marry because of her love for you (?),but not u...Anyway , i don't know the whole story to judge, but if everybody is aware of the situation and approving his part in it, no harm done, you're all adults....

[Observer]

Originally Posted by doc

Sorry Observer, i was very touched by your story and felt sorry for both of you, regadless the cause you drifted apart, but when i knew you were married now ,the only person i felt sorry for is your wife...

I wouldn't like to be married with someone who is still in love with another women. I think it's unfair, and even more hurting than being apart for the one you love....The one by the way who didn't marry because of her love for you (?),but not u...Anyway , i don't know the whole story to judge, but if everybody is aware of the situation and approving his part in it, no harm done, you're all adults....

Doc. I think you did not read this part of my post. I would not have married my wife if I did not love my wife and nobody else.

Originally Posted by Observer

I did not say that I am still in love with her. I would never marry a woman and loving another. This is not good. This will not be haelthy to me, my wife and children and to the other girl. I said I am on good terms with her and see each other when have the chance but I do not think this would be a correct and wise thing to do now I am married.

I moved on long time ago. This is thing did not occur to me except when there was such a thread now. from time to time I do remember the past just to reflect. I did not leave scares nor caused me any complex nor affected my behavior toward somebody or something. I just gained experience and some wisdom maybe.

I am very happy with my wife and married her because I loved her. Nothing that happend with me before ever affected me or my private life or the way I look now at my beloved wife.


As for the other girl Doc. She did not marry because it was her choice and not because of me. Yes it is very hard to judge when you do not know things and her choice was because of so many other things that occured to her and how her life became complicated for several years until she pulled out of it and becoming a very, and I am saying very, successful (and influential) person having al what she wants. I am happy for her and wish her the very best and she does the same for me and genuinely that is.

[doc]

Originally Posted by Observer

Doc. I think you did not read this part of my post. I would not have married my wife if I did not love my wife and nobody else.




I am very happy with my wife and married her because I loved her. Nothing that happend with me before ever affected me or my private life or the way I look now at my beloved wife.


As for the other girl Doc. She did not marry because it was her choice and not because of me. Yes it is very hard to judge when you do not know things and her choice was because of so many other things that occured to her and how her life became complicated for several years until she pulled out of it and becoming a very, and I am saying very, successful (and influential) person having al what she wants.

My mistake.I apologize, i actually didn't read that part. You have my respect, and all my wishes for happiness, you know the :they lived happily ever after thing....

[Observer]

Originally Posted by doc

My mistake.I apologize, i actually didn't read that part. You have my respect, and all my wishes for happiness, you know the :they lived happily ever after thing....

hahhaa. Do not worry Doc. it was clear to me that you missed that part of my post and if I were you I would have thought the same and had the same reaction. It is not a Cinderella story but yes I am happy, my wife is happy and the other girl seems to be very happy.

[Xena]

i had a similar story... i went out with my ex when i was 18 and broke up at 25 ella shahrein... ya3ne some 5 months ago and a relationship that lasted almost 7 years...

i did love him... a lot... but i guess love isn't enough to make a happy couple... i knew and he later on understood that on the long run we will only be a miserable couple... and even though i knew it wouldnt work out, for some reason (guess love) i kept on postponing it, hoping that things might change...
anyway, to cut a very long story short and since i don't feel like being dramatic tonight, the hard part about love is getting over your love
i guess i did, feeling wise... and i suppose i managed to get past the memories by keeping myself busy building my career but the hard part now is to identify the damages and try to fix them... fa ya observer mafi 3endak some tips?

[Observer]

Originally Posted by Xena

i had a similar story... i went out with my ex when i was 18 and broke up at 25 ella shahrein... ya3ne some 5 months ago and a relationship that lasted almost 7 years...

i did love him... a lot... but i guess love isn't enough to make a happy couple... i knew and he later on understood that on the long run we will only be a miserable couple... and even though i knew it wouldnt work out, for some reason (guess love) i kept on postponing it, hoping that things might change...
anyway, to cut a very long story short and since i don't feel like being dramatic tonight, the hard part about love is getting over your love
i guess i did, feeling wise... and i suppose i managed to get past the memories by keeping myself busy building my career but the hard part now is to identify the damages and try to fix them... fa ya observer mafi 3endak some tips?

I see. It takes strength and determination. As for tips lol. I do not claim I am an expert but maybe I can offer something, if you wish.

While a person struggles in producing a process for taking difficult decision, he/she faces dilemmas as to what is the priority for him/her in the process of decision making. What should the decision be based on? Social? political?religious? familial? financial? In a lot of cases these social institutions do come into conflict. There must be some careful calculations, painful sometimes but better than walking aimlesssely and without knowing where you are stepping whereas it could lead to bad (and deadly if more serious stuff) mistakes.

Sometimes the thinking process and the way you turn over possibilities are very much reliant or even solely based on the way you interact with the social institutions be it education, religion, family or something else. One might have more weight than the other over the model of the world you mentally form. It also affects how you reflect on past experiences to produce a judgement on a present situation and the way you reason to take a decision on it and this is a tricky part sometimes, because the way you reflect on past experiences evolve and change with time and depends on your experiences and the outcome of your ongoing interactions with the social institutions.

This is a general advice or at a least a guidance from my modest experience and knowledge.

[doc]

Originally Posted by Xena

i had a similar story... i went out with my ex when i was 18 and broke up at 25 ella shahrein... ya3ne some 5 months ago and a relationship that lasted almost 7 years...

i did love him... a lot... but i guess love isn't enough to make a happy couple... i knew and he later on understood that on the long run we will only be a miserable couple... and even though i knew it wouldnt work out, for some reason (guess love) i kept on postponing it, hoping that things might change...
anyway, to cut a very long story short and since i don't feel like being dramatic tonight, the hard part about love is getting over your love
i guess i did, feeling wise... and i suppose i managed to get past the memories by keeping myself busy building my career but the hard part now is to identify the damages and try to fix them... fa ya observer mafi 3endak some tips?

Dear Xena,
though i can't say that at your age i lost a great love, but i think the recipe is the same to get over a relation that affected you: work hard, it's an occasion to throw yourself at work, really change your carrier options and have a more successful life , exercise a lot, sports is a remedy.

Maybe you can explore some artistic talents and you never had the occasion to do it before: drawing, photography, cooking classes (i myself am taking Italian cooking classes now....) . Yoga is very good also, hanging out with friends( who don't know him, so you won't be eager to hear about him), and a blessing to woman kind: go shopping ,take care of yourself ...(men don't have this superficial but sometimes very effective relief hehehe)

And last but not least: cut off all bonds, don't talk to him,not even on special occasions, don't e-mail him, don't even look at your pictures together......Tell him you're doing it because it's better for you this way,and if he loves you he'll understand..... And in two or three years (not before), you'll have only good memories of this relation, the bad ones will fade away...Only then, and if you feel like it, he can become a friend....

I know most of my advices seem so superficial, but if you take things too seriously in life, it will get harder and bitter....and this is only your first disappointment....I hope you won't have any other, but meanwhile try to build yourself a strong armor

And hey, life is nothing but a play we take part in, let's try to have a meaningful one....Those who have it easy and nice all the way are such a bore Let's live it thoroughly, even if it hurts sometimes( or even most of the time). Maybe i'm wrong, but i think that this kind of experience makes people more human and mature and genuine....

Regards, and good luck