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tae
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Default 4th July 2009

Lebanese are really distinguished in their accent and style of linguistics.

• You constantly mix Arabic, French, and English "Okay, merci kteer, yallah bye!" "Hi kifak ca va"
• Your statements should start with "Enno".
• The words "Khayi" “Man” "Bro" "Cuz" are a big part of your vocabulary.

• The word "Wallah" has replaced the word "Really" in your vocabulary.
• You Believe that “Bounjouren” “Bonsouren” are registered vocabulary words.
• You say the words "Stylak" and "Salbe" very often.



• You say "Bolice" for "Police"
• You call a night club "Night" and McDonalds "Macdo"; Abbreviation is a convenient style of communication.
• Your father swears at you with words that affect him (Yilaan Abouk)



• Whenever you see a relative you haven’t seen in a while, you say : ''Yee Shoo mgayar wo mihlaw"
• ''We'll only stay 10 minutes'' means you’re spending the whole day.
• You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".



• You say bye 17 times on the phone, before actually hanging up.
• When you fail, your first words are: most of my friends failed too!
• You’ve taught all your non-Lebanese friends how to swear in Arabic












Attitude

Lebanese have illustrious attitudes & Behaviors.



• You are so "Class" while everyone else are "Nawar"
• You hate to wait, while everyone waits for you.
• You never stand in line.



• You don't memorize your full National Anthem.
• You love to have a gun or use one..
• You are the best bull-Shitter.






• You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
• You think that Syrians are the butt of all jokes.
• You always curse Lebanese people when you are in Lebanon, but when you live abroad you only make Lebanese friends.



• You get plastic surgery at least once in your lifetime..
• You can't do anything in life unless you have a Wasta
• If a Cop stops you cause you’ve violated a certain law, God help him since you'll be calling PAPI ...then PAPI will make his life a living hell.







Food

Lebanese are known for their great food, loved by everyone around the globe.

• You have to go to a Lebanese restaurant 6 times a week.
• If you live abroad and coming to Lebanon for a vacation Lebanese Restaurants will be your SPA.
• A meal without Hummus is not a real meal to you.



• You can’t start with anything rather than Tabouleh.
• You eat almost everything with bread.
• You can't have a meal without Lebanese bread.



• You put olive oil on EVERYTHING and brag about how healthy it is.
• You make Turkish coffee before leaving home, when you reach your office, after lunch, when having guests before and after they leave, and finally before you go to bed.
• You always need to have an Unlimited Supply of Nuts & Bizir.



• Your water in Mezzah is Arak.
• You always fight over who pays the bill.
• Your mom makes food for 10 people but you are only 3 on the table.
• Your mum cooks a meal that lasts three days












Argileh








To Lebanese Argileh has become as essential as Fresh Air.


• You have to smoke Argileh.
• A good restaurant is measured by how good is their Argileh, and whether the Nara guy is always around.
• If you live in the Gulf, u have to make sure to get Moasal for all your family.





Family

Some of us have pretty bizarre family members, Oh well, that’s what you get for being Lebanese.

• Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for dinner even if you're in the next room.
• You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.
• Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
• You have relatives smuggling diamonds in West Africa.
• Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
• Everyone is a family friend.



• Members of your family start to come over your house at 11:00PM and don't leave until 3:00AM.
• Your extended family is over your house all the time, discussing the latest family drama
• You have to have at least 3 relatives living in your neighborhood. .



• Your Family is never happy with what you've achieved. If you graduated from school they'll tell you "Eqbel Shahadeh El kbeereh", when u get that "Oqbal el Aroos / Areees", when you get that "Oqbal ma nefrah be Wledkom", and when you get that "Oqbal Shadet Wladkom”, and it keeps on going...




Cars

With a capital “C” when it comes to Lebanese, Cars can be the most important thing in a Lebanese’s life, even more important than having a house. I have a statement that I cite regularly “You Are What You Drive”.

• You won't drive anything that's not a Mercedes, BMW, or Hummer.
• You drive a new BENZ but you can’t afford money for gas
• You drive cars with black Fume windows.



• You bought your driver's license.
• You chose you license plate.
• You’re a very good driver, except for the fact that you drive like ****!






• You drive like a maniac.
• You don’t feel embarrassed filling gas for 3$. (5.000 LBP)
• You can talk on your cell phone, eat a sandwich, drink, and smoke while driving a manual shift.



• You never wear a seat belt.
• You can’t drive below 120/km on the highway, you think it’s illegal.
• You love to drive and drift.



• You spend all your money buying accessories for the car. (But not Gas).
• You are permitted to have a little chat with your friends in the next car, and block the way on a green traffic light.
• All roads are 2-ways, so driving in the opposite direction is always permit ted.



• You can’t tolerate traffic, where your car horn becomes your only stress reliefer.
• You'd only drive up to 25 km - above that it becomes too far.
• You wouldn’t mind cruising in circles around a certain small hot area for hours.



• If you are a boy you have to learn how to drive when you are 14 years old.
• You stole the car when your Parents were asleep, and were involved in an accident that they don’t know about, till now.
• You love to drink while driving, Eventually You drink, and drive.















Clubbing

Lebanon = Night Life; No introductions needed here.

• You prefer Vodka/Redbull on water.
• You are not allowed to miss clubbing 2 nights in a row.
• You have to start drinking from the bottle at 2 AM; cause by then cups can't do the job.



• You need to at least order 2-3 extra bottles of champagne a night and leave them unused.
• You have to be professional in holding your cigarette and drink in one hand and have easy20access to both.
• You think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time.



• You go to a Night Club at 1 AM and not get back home before morning.
• You can’t spend the night in one particular Night Club (At least 3).
• You have to eat after clubbing.



• You dress like you're going clubbing, all day, everyday, probably because you do.
• You pick a fight with someone just because he was looking at your GF (Only after 2 AM).
• You Can Do The Dabkeh















Travelling




Lebanese are known to visit Lebanon at least once every 2 days.

• You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport.
• You would beg the personnel at the airport to allow your excess baggage, as soon as your father stops doing that for you
• When you arrive at the airport back home you find at least 20 relatives waiting to greet you.
• You always have a dream of holding a different passport, since your passport doesn’t get you anywhere without a Visa ..
• Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby; everybody tells you "Mabrook"





Politics




Last but unquestionably not least.

• You love yellow cause u love "Hezbollah", blue cause u love "future"
• You should get involved in politics, before kindergarden.
• You hope that the political situation will be solved but you know that it won’t.
• All Lebanese agreed to disagree in their political views.
• You never stick to one Team for more than 2 Years.
• You hate Israel to death.
• You want to become a president to change things.
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