[amalhope]

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. Both are mad.

AN EGYPTIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. Both are voting for Mobarak.

A SYRIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows but are looking into exchanging them for horses to benefit from the historical TV series production market.

A PALESTINIAN CORPORATION: You operate from another country - with a partner who carries the citizenship of that country - on aid you receive from the PLO and other sources. You had a farm and 2 cows in the past. Zionists stole the farm in 1948 and one cow in 1967. You have one ailing cow left. You send thank you letters to Abbas every month for his efforts on brokering a potential peace deal with Israel that guarantees a jug of milk every year. You receive letters from Haneyyeh urging you to grow a beard and veil your cow as you wait for him to liberate the farm that had been dispossessed 60 years ago.

A LEBANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both die suddenly. You search for the Truth -- indefinitely.