[Jerry]

>>>There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things
>>>in a
>>>long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
>>>This
>>>is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was
>>>transcribed
>>>from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless
>>>to
>>>say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently
>>>suing
>>>the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
>>>Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
>>>(Now
>>>I know why they record these conversations!):
>>>
>>>Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help
>>>you?"
>>>Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
>>>WordPerfect."
>>>Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
>>>Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
>>>sudden
>>>the words went away."
>>>Operator: "Went away?"
>>>Caller: "They disappeared."
>>>Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
>>>Caller: "Nothing."
>>>Operator: "Nothing??"
>>>Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
>>>type."
>>>
>>>Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
>>>out??"
>>>Caller: "How do I tell?"
>>>Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
>>>Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
>>>Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
>>>screen?"
>>>Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
>>>accept anything I type."
>>>Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
>>>Caller: "What's a monitor?"
>>>Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
>>>like
>>>a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
>>>Caller: "I don't know."
>>>Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
>>>find
>>>where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
>>>Caller: "Yes, I think so."
>>>Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me
>>>if
>>>it's plugged into the wall.
>>>Caller: "Yes, it is."
>>>Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you
>>>notice that
>>>there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
>>>Caller: "No."
>>>Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
>>>again
>>>and find the other cable."
>>>Caller: "Okay, here it is."
>>>Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
>>>securely into the back of your computer."
>>>Caller: "I can't reach."
>>>Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
>>>Caller: "No."
>>>Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something
>>>and
>>>lean way over??"
>>>Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
>>>angle
>>>- it's because it's dark."
>>>Operator: "Dark??"
>>>Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only
>>>light
>>>I have is coming in from the window.
>>>" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
>>>Caller: "I can't."
>>>Operator: "No? Why not??"
>>>Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
>>>Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got
>>>it
>>>licked now.
>>>Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
>>>computer
>>>came in??"
>>>Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>>>Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
>>>pack
>>>it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
>>>store
>>>you bought it from."
>>>Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
>>>Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>>>Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do
>>>I tell
>>>them??"
>>>Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%ing stupid to own a
>>>computer!!!!!"